The Vigil Idiot: Race 2

January 28, 2013 10:38 am by

“Cherry, I don’t have time to pop your cherry,” says Anil Kapoor to his assistant Ameesha Patel at the beginning of the film, thus setting the stage for the high-brow entertainment that follows over the next couple of hours. This Abbas-Mustan sequel, which also stars Saif Ali Khan (as Ranveer Singh), John Abraham (as Armaan Malik), Deepika Padukone and Jacqueline Fernandes (as Eye Candy 1 and 2) is basically the first part all over again, but with CGI worse than you’ll see in this comic. Which is not to say that they shouldn’t have made it. I mean, how else would pearls of wisdom like, “Men are many, but money is money” go out into the world?

Sahil Rizwan is a 24-year-old freelance writer and creator of The Vigil Idiot. When he’s not busy doing everything in his power to avoid taking up a 9-to-5 desk job, you can probably find him curled up in front of a TV or his laptop. You can follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

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Comments (48)

  1. Prakash |

    @KK.. It’s not only you but million other ardent supporters and Fans of hindi movies. These people including you never dare to ask yourself if this is what you call the entertainment. Bad plots, horrible acting, pointless sequences never happen to bother a bit to these hindi cinema fans. But then let me tell you, this displays the patheticity and poverty of intelligence, knowledge and represents the height of stupidity on the viewers’s counterpart. These stupid fans need to be avoided even at other times too, because your choices define you

  2. I assume you *are* aware that the Shroud of Turin is a proven (by radio carbon dating) medieval fake and is essentially worthless? If you are, why didn’t you mention it? If you aren’t, why aren’t you?

  3. Vicky Donor |

    Awesome Dude…. All I saw in Screen was Race of Boobies…

  4. Neeti |

    Abhishek, Murder in a club emphasizes Style because .. umm .. you know .. in a club you’re all well dressed and .. umm.. being all hip, looking hot while committing a murder.. umm .. Bieber Rocks Too!

  5. Sibtain |

    Lol, Way to go Sahil’

  6. Abhishek Atree |

    @KK,

    Dude – Let me get this right ! Are you trying to defend the logic in Race 2 – because if yes, then we’ve finally discovered why these filmmakers keep coming up with such crappy chunks of filmmaking – it’s because of viewers like you !!! Viewers who gulp down anything and everything thrown at them and try and find logic in it. In a futile attempt to convince you otherwise – let me explain why your logic below smell of the fact that you might be one of the crew members of Race 2 !

    1) In the modern world, it’s standard to prioritize life over any object – ( yes KK we get that – and really it’s wisdom at its best  . But the same thought can also be communicated with something better than “Men are Many, but money is money” !!
    2) Right from the first Race, Saif’s character has been merely reacting to plots against him. Therefore, there is no question as to whether he found his conscience in the end – ( while you seem like an ardent fan of the Race series – you missed the very beginning of race 1 – where Saif get’s his Jockey killed because he is double crossed – yes definitely a mere reaction to plots against him )
    3) Surely the gunman wouldn’t have expected him to run into a trap so easily, given the information he would’ve received prior to be given the contract to kill his (Saif’s character’s) girlfriend – ( ever heard of the Bourne Series ? An assassin is not supposed to take a shot, keep standing there for a smoke, call his mother , book a movie ticket online for the evening and then stroll down the elevator !!! A assassin is supposed to dismantle his gun and RUN ASAP !! You supporting this logic is so lame that I have no more words to write – just please see a Bourne Film )
    4) The murder in the dance club was to emphasize style and power – ( Emphasize style ???? How does Murder in a club Emphasize Style ?????? )
    5) It’s unreasonable to expect a thorough explanation of how Armaan became so rich. The sudden poor to rich transition is shown in many Hollywood films even. Ever heard of the phrase ‘cut to the chase’? – ( yes cut to the chase is good ! but from a rowdy fighter to a billionaire ??? And all you show is one fight !!!! Do us all a favor and as you rightly mentioned – many Hollywood films – please name one where the cut to chase from rags to riches is so short !!! )

    Get a life KK – or better – get some real Hollywood DVDs !!

  7. Ash |

    @KK

    Dude, its a movie. And a senseless one at that. Whatever ‘illogical’ twists Sahil brings in (I dont think so), the movie (and most Indian movies) manage to trump it in greater silliness. So, chill. Have fun watching it, have fun later laughing over it.

  8. Vramori |

    BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH!!! sahil! you always to echo our sentiments to the word! “cherry i dont want to pop you cherry” #WHATWEREYOUTHINKING?

  9. TJ |

    Nice! Good job!

  10. Saahil |

    @Sahil rizwan
    well I second KK above…a lot of times your logic is flawed too and sometimes i’ve noticed you twist and manipulate the plot a little to suit your comics. (And i’ve read all of them). But then again, I enjoy reading your perspective on the movies because most of them genuinely deserve it. Barring a few things, this one was awesome too. Looking forward to more. Way to go!

  11. Sidhdharth |

    Seriously awesome…but you didnt mention the poker trick with nano sensors and iphone app … and that Saif doesnt even touch his cards but kind of knows he has three aces.. and why are a bunch of foreign players in turkey playing teen patti and not poker!!

  12. Gaurav |

    awesome, can’t wait for Dhoom 3 now!

  13. Aman Bhatnagar |

    Awesome shit dude, as usual. I hope you decide to direct an Indian scary movie of sorts, with parodies of these films :D How I would love to see that film!

  14. Seemant |

    Awesome work dude. You have a gift. I spend a lot of time reading a lot of funny stuff and its not easy to make me laugh anymore, but you did it.
    Keep up the good work bro.

  15. Neerja |

    Hahahaha… This is HI-LARIOUS!!! Lookie… password’s Obeygod it seems!!! Sooo funny… All these points were so funny… Dude… keep it up!!!

  16. Gowrishankar |

    Aww..you guys completely sidestepped Vikram..the dude who accepts 1.5 billion dollars and doesnt bother to check beyond the first layer of euro bills….not even after going home and stacking it all near his bathroom.

    This happens 15mins into the movie and pretty much set the tone…

  17. Shashwat Kaushik |

    This is Fantastic piece of work Sahil.

    You are actually doing a great service to India.Never Stop!!

    @KK – seriously, you genuinely think Bollywood even spends an ounce of intelligence b4 making such craps.Don’t give me an excuse by comparing it to Hollywood.Commercial Bollywood cinema is artistically dead long time ago.We should stop calling them artists.They all are Stinky, Rotten pieces of Crap.

  18. Noshin |

    Fantabulous!!
    So far the best movie review + comic strip I have come across!!

  19. Triple cross! 4×4 cross! Hahahahaha.

  20. hoh! And all this while Jesus Christ up there was banging his head against the wall, and God expedited his reincarnation plans to save mankind & man-mind from such genocidal movies!

  21. Vipasha Ghangoria |

    Seriously !
    “What program do you use for you brilliant stick-figures?” :D
    It is race to insanity!! lol
    Kickass review.

  22. KK |

    A lot of your logic is also flawed, Sahil! See how hard it is to create a sensible piece of work?

    1) In the modern world, it’s standard to prioritize life over any object.

    2) Right from the first Race, Saif’s character has been merely reacting to plots against him. Therefore, there is no question as to whether he found his conscience in the end.

    3) Surely the gunman wouldn’t have expected him to run into a trap so easily, given the information he would’ve received prior to be given the contract to kill his (Saif’s character’s) girlfriend.

    4) The murder in the dance club was to emphasize style and power.

    5) It’s unreasonable to expect a thorough explanation of how Armaan became so rich. The sudden poor to rich transition is shown in many Hollywood films even. Ever heard of the phrase ‘cut to the chase’?

  23. vj |

    hahha….love you reviews man…..what a riot……must add the shroud robbery scene was copied right out of national treasure(2004)…..the first movie was way better(or less worse)…

  24. Archana Warudi |

    Brilliant!! Sahil Rizwan….I enjoyed the review more as I’d seen the movie before reading it, but next time i think it would be better to read ur review first & the decide whether to watch or not!
    Reminded me of the MAD magazine take offs on movies :) Thanks!

  25. Roushan |

    Have been reading your reviews for sometime now … this one is also very nice , as usual .. but really liked your last review on Jab Tak Hai Jaan ..way too funny..

  26. Meher |

    Been reading your kickass reviews for a while now… But this was the funniest!!
    Haven’t stopped laughing for a while now!!

    Booyah Sahil!

    You da Man!

  27. Movie lover |

    Thums up for ur last comment about bipasha :D

  28. Yaqoot |

    Hey…excellent work!
    Also gr8 job on the Anil Kapoor figure! Looks quite like him…

  29. Niharika |

    the movie must have been really bad i too could not keep up with the review, had to read it TWICE!!
    Great work as always
    :)

    youtube to mp3

  30. srividya |

    Did Anil Kapoor actually wax his chest for this movie ? Gosh scientific breakthrough :-) …besides I am presumiing like with all Abbas Mustan movies,this movie is “inspired” from somewhere and after reading your review,I honestly want to know from where !!

  31. shreeramnarayan |

    WOW!! This review was such a laugh riot.. Superb work Sahil. Just loved every moment of the read!!!!

  32. Who funds these movies?!

  33. Great work, Sahil! But in spite of mostly negeative reviews, the movie is on fire at the Box Office.
    Just some small nit-picks –
    Anil is RD, not KD
    The car with parachutes – John does mention to Saif early on that his car is ultra high-tech and can float. Well, if James Bond can have so many techno gadgets, why not apna John??

  34. Dr Rickson Pereira |

    ROFLMAO… The girls look awesome!! Hahaha

  35. Neetish |

    Ha ha , hope you are not serious about the parachute supported convertible

  36. lol |

    everything is possible

  37. Shubham |

    hahahaha! Sahil dude.. good job!

  38. Nishi |

    Awesome as usual!!!

  39. Vikram |

    haha…kickass as always Sahil!

    Oh God! Abbas Mastan have become victims of their own image…..non stop surprises doesn’t mean non stop stupidies Sir ji!

    Sahil, what program you use for your brilliant stick figures?? :) )

  40. Anirudh |

    I knew that I ll be greeted with a Vigil Idiot review on Monday the moment i walked out of the cinema hall.

  41. Shru |

    Must be a really bad movie, because I couldn’t even keep up with the review… :(

  42. Manish |

    aaaaand that’s why I don’t spend money on Bollywood movies anymore!

  43. Aman Narang |

    Why did you not include the “THERMAL SENSOR AND AUTOMATICALLY CHANGING PLAYING CARDS”
    Man, that was when I had lost all hope…2 mins into the movie

    Otherwise, as hilarious as all your other reviews though!! :)

  44. HK |

    Haha! Obeygod?? Seriously? WTF?! Funny though. Helps make comics like this one.

  45. Rashmi Chitrakar |

    You da man ..The stick figures are getting better and better! Great job!

  46. CP |

    it is a race to insanity. To think about people who pay 300 bux a pop to see this shit – they deserve to be robbed at gun point. why dont the directors hire amisha, bipasha and just make a film of them pooping on their heads.

  47. What the Tits!

    Once again this review saved my time and money! not that I was going to watch DISGrace-2 anyway ;)

    Cheers,
    Nishant

  48. Hari |

    kick ass as usual! bt gotta give the movie credit for mindless entertainment/cheesy,corny one liners and of course Omisha and Elena :P