Bar Review: Rehab

As bar reviewers, we were initially thankful to the owners of Rehab for making our jobs easier. Their official website, launched before they opened on January 15, featured photographs of the décor as well as the complete food and drinks menu. This meant that we would spend less time jotting down details on our cell phones (and consequently look less suspicious to the wait staff).

Unfortunately, getting into Rehab was not quite as easy as writing about it. Take our advice and don’t try calling to get clarity on their door policy; we tried and got nowhere, and finally resorted to making repeat visits to get in. At the time of publication, the owner had yet to respond to our request for an interview. From what we gather, Rehab is a “private bar”, where in order to enter, you need to make a prior reservation which gets you on the guest list.

Rehab owner Suved Lohia is one of the former partners who ran Kala Ghoda nightclub Red Light, which recently re-opened as LIV. The 25-and-above, guest list policy adopted by both Rehab and LIV suggests that they were inspired by the success of Trilogy, the Juhu club run by their former Colaba neighbours the Thams (who owned the Henry Tham’s bar in Apollo Bunder) . While we have yet to review LIV—it’s our policy to only review establishments open to the general public—Rehab looks inspired by Trilogy in more ways than one.

Decoratively, you can see it in the colour-changing LED lights that cover the ceiling. Conceptually, it seeks to emulate Trilogy in that it aims to be both a bar and a nightclub. The key difference of course is that Rehab is about one-third the size of Trilogy, with a capacity to hold approximately 150 people. This brought to mind the previous occupants of Rehab, little-remembered retro pub Shooters. Shooters was, for a while at least, an alternative to those who couldn’t deal with the crowds at Hawaiian Shack but wanted pretty much the same experience. Rehab then is a mini, me-too Trilogy.

Which is not such a bad thing given that both bars can boast of bartenders who can shake and stir up some great in-house cocktails. Rehab’s Baileys Banana Colada, for instance, sounds so wrong on so many levels but the drink was frothy, smooth and not as sweet as you’d expect. Both their caipiroska and their mojito had exactly the right proportions of lime, mint and vodka/rum. The appetisers—the bell pepper stuffed chicken; and zucchini rolls—were flavourful if not fantastic. Which is what we could also say about the DJ’s playlist, which segued from pop and hip hop to electronica (Justin Timberlake, Akon, Calvin Harris) as the night progressed.

If at all Rehab raises an eyebrow, it’s in the quizzical décor, which we presume is courtesy of Lohia and his personal brand of humour. (He named his bar Rehab after all.) “Where there is Love, Drama will prevail—where there is Lust the G spot aint far—there’s little space between Sane and Insane—but within all that ull find yourself in Rehab (sic)” goes the cryptic message on the official website. Once you’re inside Rehab, it makes sense—somewhat.

Each of the tables (which were all reserved but expectedly empty when we visited) has word sculptures like “Love”, “Lust”, “Sane” and “Insane”, as table stands. The waiters wear graphic print T-shirts bearing an image of a nurse asking if you are “In need of a check-up?”. The menu is filled with corny one-liners like “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time”. Perhaps one’s appreciation of such humour is dependent on one’s level of inebriation, but getting high at Rehab isn’t quite as cheap as the jokes it serves—the cocktails are priced at Rs600 exclusive of tax. Because Rehab does not charge an entry fee, it may well be worth checking out the place. Your best bet might be to reserve a table first.

Drinks and starters for two cost approximately Rs3,700. This review was conducted anonymously.

Rehab

Location8/9 Navrang Building
Diagonally opposite KFC
Hotel Linkway Palace
Off Linking Road
Bandra (West)

Phone2600 2223, 2600 2224

HoursTuesday to Sunday, 8pm to 1.30am

Websitewww.addicted2rehab.com