Magazine Wars: January 2012

January 9, 2012 6:44 am by

VOGUE
On the cover: Mehr Rampal, “India’s original supermodel”, in a white gauze Marchesa dress, looking respectably in her mid-30s despite being 43. We heart Rampal mostly for just admitting that her advice to people who want to stay fit is that “it is in your genes”. Rampal’s story, for those who may not remember, is extraordinary even by today’s standards: winning the Miss India pageant at 17, being offered a Lancome contract at 22, and retiring at 23 to start her own modelling agency.
Read it: “The Bombshell”, about curvy British singing sensation Adele. Things you might not know about her: she has a website where you can buy pillowcases inscribed with lyrics from “Someone Like You”; a jerk boyfriend inspired the song and then got engaged to someone else; and that Vogue UK from where this profile has been syndicated, came under much online bashing for choosing to show the voluptuous star largely neck up. “Slim Pickings”, where writers Iain Ball and Amana Fontanella-Khan grapple respectively with their fascination for the voluptuous and inability to put on weight (happy ending for those rolling their eyes at the last one: she did). “The Basics of Base”, which offers up helpful tips to getting your foundation right.
Don’t bother: Vogue tells you how to dress in black according to body size in “Night Watch”. For putting Katrina Kaif under the “voluptous” category, they remind us once again why fashion mags can sometimes be hopelessly out of touch with reality.

ELLE
On the cover: It’s a good month for models, with yet another, Ashika Pratt, on a Jan cover. Pratt in head to toe Dior, wears a pink and orange crochet dress that yes, we’ll say it, looks like something you could pick up from Colaba Causeway.
Read it: “It’s A New Life”, on Harry Potter alum Emma Watson who says that the rumours about her being bullied at Brown University are false, and is described to have not much of a presence in person.
Don’t bother: Staple fluff filler Tarun Tahiliani talks about his design inspirations in “Design Inspiration”; the “Trailblazers” photoshoot where the model’s pained look and Bollywood-esque hamming wins her the award for least likely to transition into a successful acting career.

HARPER’S BAZAAR
On the cover: Mixed muggle Nargis Fakhri doing the cover rounds after Vogue exposed her as “Bollywood’s Best-Kept Secret” (she was Grazia’s cover girl last month). Fakhri, in a slinky metallic Paco Rabanne gown (designed by Manish Arora), rises Venus-like from the water—little does she know of the sea turtle praying ceremony and ghastly blue eyeshadow that awaits. Fakhri, who hasn’t lined up her next movie yet, is the perfect example of how you can score great publicity even if you’re just one, largely critically-panned, performance down (we’re thinking “sea princess” is a euphemistic term for one-hit wonder). For the record, she says she isn’t in touch with Ranbir Kapoor and is, at the moment, single but looking for someone “cultured and well-travelled” and “spiritual”.
Read it: If you like to pepper your party chatter with references that you hope will make you appear unbearably cool (or just irritate others) then read up on “Ones to Watch”, a list of actors, hairstylists, make-up artists and models that you should know in 2012. “Malini Goes Mass”, where designer Malini Ramani talks about her collaboration with mass market shoe label Bata. “Giorgio Armani Personal Style”, where the perenially sun-tanned septuagenarian designer dishes on being gifted a Matisse by his friend Eric Clapton, his favourite movie Blade Runner, about being his own biggest influence and staying tanned by eating “very healthy”. “The Age of Scorsese” where actors like Kate Bosworth, Emily Mortimer, Emily Blunt and others recreate iconic scenes from Martin Scorsese movies and inadvertently remind us why the originals were so much better.
Don’t bother: “Perfect Timing”, a watch promo masquerading as a profile on Rado brand ambassador Hrithik Roshan. A look at model and Arun Nayyar’s arm-candy, model Kim Johnson. Best subtle dig at Nayyar ex Liz Hurley: “I love that he has the most amazing family and friends.”

GRAZIA
On the cover: Former Miss International 2007 Esha Gupta looking fresh-faced and happy as anyone sporting bikini bottoms and leopard print stilettos can on a lawn. Still, Gupta, wearing the latest cruise collections, looks luminous, and dare we say it, positively chipper. Grazia gets double bonus points for not tacking along an inane profile of the model-turned-actress and letting her do what we regrettably won’t see her do again now that’s she signed on to act in Mahesh Bhatt’s Jannat 2: model.
Read it: “Around the World at a Click”—fashionistas rejoice, talented fashion duo Pankaj & Nidhi are now retailing their geometric print, Japanese-inpsired collections through discount website theoutnet.com. “New Year New Resolution”, where four “fashion-forward” ladies helpfully pick key pieces across all price ranges to buy in 2012; “The Man Who Made Marilyn”, which looks at the Hollywood icon’s little-known stylist William Travilla who made *that* dress (apparently her undies were sewn into the dress because Monroe hated wearing underwear); “Greek, Glam and Glamorous”, which gives you the dope on current fashion darling Mary Katrantzou and her mad trompe l’oeil print dresses that have become all the rage among discerning fashionistas.
Don’t bother: “Fashion Scrabble”, which decodes fashion’s new terminology only so you’ll know never to use the words “poots” (pants + boots) and “mubes” (tube plus maxi dress) in conversation.

GQ
On the cover: Current James Bond and star of the Hollywood version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo film franchise, Daniel Craig. Inside, apart from talking about his new movie (“It does the book justice,” he says, predictably), Craig gets all philosophical about how the secret to his success is not trying too hard (“I’m one of the least competitive people you’ll ever meet”; “There’s always going to be someone with a bigger toy than yours”) and about the reasons behind his stand-offish real-life image (“I think there’s a lot to be said for keeping your own counsel…It’s precious. It’s worth more than money”).
Read it: “Rick Ross’ Simple Lessons For Bosses, Dons and Bitches”, in which writer Devin Friedman spends 24 hours with the American rapper Rick Ross and his entourage at Ross’s Atlanta home. Activities include home-delivery watch shopping (Ross gets a $100,000 Rolex that day), and a “promotional” visit to a strip club.
Don’t bother: “The GQ Guide to DILFs” or the male equivalent of MILFs or cougars. There’s just so much wrong with this piece, even apart from the suggestion that the dads in question actually capitalise on their DILF-worthiness. Parents wanting to follow the GQ staff’s advice should do so at their own risk. In the accompanying photo of a model showing how to dress like a DILF, they not only recommend buying a Rs58,000 Burberry nappy bag but also spoiling your tot by buying “the little guy” Rs10,500 Gucci sunglasses (because he is “on his way to growing up to be…you”) as well as a pair of baby ballerinas, also by Gucci. As for the DILFs themselves, they are categorised into Action DILF (Brad Pitt), Old-school DILF (caricature of Kabir Bedi), and Playboy DILF (no name or image specified, but “if he has boys, Playboy DILF will gift them a first cigar at 12 and a hard-boiled Russian hooker at 15”). Classy.

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