Aishwarya at Cannes!

Photo via daylife.com.

Last year, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, the putative Indian queen of the Cannes red carpet, had only Mallika Sherawat and Deepika Padukone to contend with. And let’s be fair. Sherawat, who tried to upstage Rai Bachchan by slithering on the Croisette with a king cobra, wasn’t really a threat so much as a spectacle. Padukone, for her part, dressed in a gold and beige sari, came looking like the good Kingfisher spokesperson that she is. Aish, who hasn’t really upped her game since the 2006 Cannes awards, cruised by with some frothy gowns courtesy of Armani, and all ended well, with nary a Sonam Kapoor in sight.

This year, going by news reports, she’ll not only have to contend with fellow L’Oreal spokesperson Kapoor, but also Rani Mukerji, Saif Ali Khan, Minissha Lamba and Mallika Sherawat (there’s no getting rid of that one). So, dear Aish, it might be time to “bring it” as they say. On one hand, we want to give you a big hug for finally getting your hair and make-up right (no more bee-hive!). On the other, we feel it imperative to tell you that couture does not necessarily equate with flattering. This Elie Saab creation, wonderfully and expensively embroidered as it is, is lovely. And on a beanpole mannequin with no curves, it would look lovelier still. But here, on a breathing person, with a real figure and half the height, it’s just stunted your torso and widened your hips by about, oh, half a foot. Still, we’re gonna hold out hope and expect the best. And if all else fails, you can always start praying that Kapoor doesn’t make it (it worked last year).